Six Months Have Passed

Six months and four days ago, I boarded a plane bound for America.

Since landing at LAX last November 17, time has literally flown by. I'm currently preparing to move up to camp in Idyllwild (5,400 feet up in the San Jacinto Mountains about 100 miles from my current residence) for my 5th summer working at Idyllwild Arts Summer Program.

While in Korea, I saw firsthand that life is boundless, its possibilities endless, and its wonders countless.

Undoubtedly, I've mentioned the impact that I feel Korea has made on my life. My experience there has infiltrated my mind to the deepest parts, I think it shall never leave. But some things have come to mind only recently. Others have been on my mind, but I haven't been able to express them.

On a recent visit to the grocery store, I suddenly noticed something that I hadn't before. I don't use shopping bags anymore. I mean, I'm conscious that I haven't been using shopping bags, but I suddenly realized why.

As you may recall, shopping bags cost money in Korea. A great alternative was simply to box up your groceries using the plethora of boxes provided. These were free--and it actually made carrying your purchases much easier (considering you sometimes had to walk a great distance with them).

To my knowledge, no stores in America offer free boxes (other than Costco), but they do have the carts. I simply put all the groceries into my cart and I steal the cart to bring my groceries home.

I was kidding about that last part. I simply roll the cart to my car and load all the groceries in. I just don't like using shopping bags anymore. Korea has done that to me. Just an interesting observation.

But Korea has changed the way I view the world. When I first returned from Korea, I was overjoyed to be home. While that feeling of joy has not waned completely; returning to America has caused me to question certain things I hadn't before.

I will say, it didn't take me long to start comparing Korea and America. I started to resent the negative things I saw in America (the ridiculous traffic, the horrible music played very loudly from people's cars, etc.). I longed to return to Korea. I would look at pictures from my time in Korea and cry. Weird, perhaps.

I see America in a new way. Perhaps not a new way, but I have a clearer view of it's positives and negatives.

I'm afraid we've completely forgotten the freedoms the forefathers fought for. South Korea has had "freedom" for 56 years (official end of the Korean War--July 27, 1953) while America has had it for 226 (official end of the Revolutionary war--September 3, 1783). Our sense of personal freedom has overshadowed our sense of personal responsibility. To use a Star Wars quote, our sense of freedom has "betrayed and murdered" our sense of perspective, and specifically, the responsibility that comes with having freedom.

The freedom the people in South Korea have is still fresh in their mind and all they have to do is look North to see very clearly what they came from and what they could return to if their freedom was taken from them. They understand full well the impact of their freedom. However, we in America have largely forgotten. We'd do well to remember.

Korea has changed the way I see my own life in relation to others.

I am more keenly aware of language, and specifically how I come across to other people. I find myself apologizing to people for things I've said (whether the person was hurt or not), when before I wouldn't have even thought I possibly owed them an apology. I understand more fully the importance of communication; to a degree I, ironically, cannot articulate.

Though I appreciate people more (much more), I have difficulty expressing it. Not because I don't have the words, but because my mind and heart are so full, the words and thoughts are gone nearly as quickly as they entered. Sadly, this renders the good thoughts ultimately unhelpful to the person who deserves to benefit from hearing how much I appreciate them.

I have somehow given in to the hustle and bustle of life here, which I typically appreciate, but unfortunately my mind seems incapable of keeping up. Thusly, I cannot focus on anything, any time, any place.

Korea has also changed my perspective about a great many things.

For instance, since I spent a year without a cell phone, I still find telephone conversations a little difficult, though I'm trying to get better.

Since my brain now recognizes the various signs/billboards, etc. (whereas in Korea, I couldn't read anything), I find that I'm more appreciative of things. Obviously, I can communicate easier, and this is both a relief on my brain and a shock. It's a relief on my brain because my brain doesn't have to be stuck in "Confused" mode, but can now work in "Understand" mode. However, while in Korea, I got used to not being able to understand anything, so my brain basically hibernated. Coming back to America was like stepping out of a pitch dark cave after 6 months and being blinded by the sun. It hurts a little bit.

I also appreciate the things around me more, and don't take them for granted as much as before.

Since returning from Korea, I've been to a Dodgers game, a Giants game; Universal Studios, Disneyland, various California Missions, and many other fun activities. I don't sit around on the weekends nearly as much as I used to.

Money isn't as big a deal to me as before. I'm still frugal (especially now that a gallon of gas is more than a gallon of milk), but I also don't hoard money like I used to. I want to experience life more--and I don't want to just sit around and wait for a big movie deal to come across my path.

I think it's taken the past 6 months and 4 days for some of these things to really sink in...and I'm sure there are more lessons to come.

I'm Back

I spoke with Lim Jae Jun (my favorite kid from Peacetown, the children's home I visited while in Korea) on the phone tonight. It was about 12:30 p.m. over there in Korea, and I just randomly decided to call Peacetown and see if I could talk to someone who could give me the address, so I could mail some things to the kids. I didn't intend to speak to Lim Jae Jun (who I'll refer to as Jae Jun from this point, because Lim is his last name), but when I got to speak to Dae Won (the person who was my contact when I was helping schedule trips to Peacetown) she had someone run and get Jae Jun so he could talk to me on the phone.

Jae Jun--
I've been back in America just over two months--and yet I find I'm constantly thinking about my time in Korea, and specifically my time at Peacetown with Jae Jun. Truly, if I ever wondered what being a father felt like, this is how I'd describe it.

On the phone, we didn't share more than about 6 words between us; I said some Korean words and he said some English words; but that's all we could do. But just the chance to hear his voice and say HI to him was amazing. Dae Won said that he is always talking about me and wondering how I'm doing. That concept is amazing to me. The fact is--I visited Peacetown 9 times in 12 months. I hung out with Jae Jun only about the last 4 or 5 visits...for 2 hours each time. That's it. But I was still able to make an impact.

I'm not kidding myself and thinking that I've forever changed the course of this kid's life. I know that my influence and memory will eventually disappear, just as my vision of the past will haze. But it's remarkable to me that this kid could have such an impact on my life, and that I could have a sustainable impact on his.

Even though I've been back in California for over 2 months, somehow it feels like I was here the whole time.

Before I left Korea, thinking of California or America was like thinking of a dream I'd once had. However, now that I'm back home, it's Korea that feels like a dream.

Did I just spend a year in South Korea? Could that possibly have happened--or did I imagine the whole thing? It's nearly impossible to process.

It's hard to believe that it all happened.

My final few weeks in Korea were filled with all kinds of wonderful and crazy things. A final trip to On the Border, a stand-up comedy night, my last performances of "The Squirrels", my last game show, and my final visit to Peacetown; the children's home that played such a big part in my time in Korea.

On The Border finale (Candy told the waiter it was my birthday, she's a dirty liar)--Dustin seeing "The Squirrels" for the first time--on my last day--
Sarah and me after the First Annual EV Stand-Up Comedy Show--Herman, Nikki, and me after the aforementioned comedy show--Jae Jun and me on my last visit to see him--
My last day in Korea, I was invited to have lunch at Daniel's house; which was a true honor. Daniel is a 6 year old Korean child I met while working at English Village. His mother would bring him to the park about once a week. He saw many of the shows I was in, as well as the activities I hosted.

After a performance of "The Squirrels" (I'm Spiderman and he's Superman--he likes to do this stuff; and who am I kidding, so do I)--His English was amazing, as was his mother's. I remember the first time I saw him. I was hosting a game show, and he was on my team. It was the other team's turn, and so I was trying to keep my team from shouting out the answers (they often did this). Daniel was sitting close to the front, and he seemed like he knew the answer--but had put his finger to his mouth making the international 'Shh' sign, which I was also doing to keep my team quiet. I went over to him and pointed to my ear--basically saying, 'Whisper the answer in my ear'--and he did. He knew the answer. I saw him many more times after that. I miss him. He always had a smile on his face, and was always happy to see me. And I was always happy to see him. After all, it's what I was in Korea to do--make kids smile.

Riding back to EV in the car (I'm wearing his beanie, and he's wearing mine, because he said, "You like blue and I like brown"--because I had previously told him my favorite color was blue, and he said his favorite was brown)--I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post another blog. To anyone who has been willing to listen, I've attempted to share my basic observations about life in Korea, and about my return to America. It hasn't been an easy transition. It hasn't been a hard transition, either; but it's been a very new experience; one I wasn't quite ready for.

I describe my brain as 'mush'. So much has happened in so short a time--my brain is trying to catch up.

Driving a car wasn't as 'weird' as I thought it would be. I hadn't been behind the wheel of a motor vehicle for exactly 365 days, and though I knew I'd relax back into it, I definitely thought LA traffic would be more scary than it was.

I definitely have trouble paying attention. I'm typically a list-maker, but haven't done much of that since coming back, because the list itself would require a list. There was so much to be done.

When I arrived at the airport, after spending nearly 15 hours in the sky (from Korea to Vancouver, from Vancouver to Los Angeles), I couldn't believe I was really home. I saw the Hollywood sign from the sky as we descended toward the airport, and I couldn't fight the tears that came. I'm neither a child nor an emotional wreck, but coming home to America was among the most tear-jerking experiences I've ever had. I haven't cried like that since watching The Passion of the Christ.

The plane that will take me from Vancouver to LA-- The Hollywood sign in the distance! (if you enlarge the picture, you'll noticed I colored it in to make it stand out more)--
This was actually in Vancouver, but it was my first vision of an American flag--and it was quite something--
Suffice it to say, it was great to be home. I kissed the ground.

Patrice picked me up from the airport, and yes, as soon as I got my bags, we went directly to In-N-Out. I ordered all by myself--the excitement could barely be contained. I made sure to keep my hands at my sides, as to not scare the person behind the counter with either my ridiculous joy or my unnecessary gestures. I said, 'I'd like to have a #2 with lettuce, ketchup, and mustard only please.' It was so easy. 'And a medium t-shirt.' I love the t-shirts from In-N-Out. Patrice had sent me an In-N-Out gift card while I was in Korea, and I immediately taped it to my dressing room mirror so I'd have something wonderful to look forward to.

I must say--sitting down and eating an In-N-Out hamburger and drinking a full-sized cup of Dr. Pepper (with free refills, where the cup has John 3:16 on the bottom) that you got from the fountain is among the most simple and wonderful joys I've yet to experience in life. It was well worth waiting a year. A greater truth has ne'er been spoken: absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The next day I picked up my rental car. I rented it for 3 weeks. This would assist me in visiting friends and also searching for a car of my own. I got a bright red Chevy HHR. I grew to like it.
That night, I had a steak dinner with some good friends. It was the first sit-down restaurant I visited since being back in America. It was quite an experience. From this point on in my life, I will encourage people to say 'YES' to life (and I'm not just saying that because I've seen Jim Carrey's movie, 'YES MAN' three times since it opened in December).
But--I promise you, if you spend a year in a country where you are completely incapable of speaking to a waiter/waitress--coming back and talking to a server will be quite startling. It was for me. The waiter spoke perfect English. Yet I was remarkably confused by what he was saying. Though I swear I knew the words he was saying to me--'chives, cheese, bacon, cheese butter or honey'--I was completely lost. The other people at the table responded back immediately--and I was just frozen. He had to repeat the items to me. So simple. What did I want on my potato? Perhaps it was because he said them too fast, or because my mind couldn't process all the English at once--but I didn't know what to say. I literally had to get Patrice to assist me in making a decision. It's been like that for the past two months--I have trouble making decisions (which isn't normal for me). Luckily, however, it is getting better.

The next day I moved into the house where I currently dwell. From Korea, I mailed around 8 boxes to Patrice's house--rather than pay to take them with me on the plane. I packed up the HHR with all these boxes and stacked them in my good sized room.

I spent several days in San Diego for Thanksgiving. During that time, I rented a cargo van to move all my stuff from San Diego (where my aunt and uncle very KINDLY stored it) back to Orange County. Even though the room is good sized--it was not prepared to hold an apartment's worth of stuff. I'll definitely be downsizing in the next few months. Korea has definitely taught me what I can and should live with and without. I truly look forward to minimizing my possessions.

The sunset at La Jolla, San Diego, on Thanksgiving Day--

I also made 2 trips to Phoenix in 2 weeks. First, I went for a quick trip to see my friend Steve graduate from the police academy (and also got an awesome chance to briefly see my college friend Michael and his new child). I returned the next week to sing in the Christmas contata with the choir at my former church. Both were great trips, but I drove both ways both times all by myself. That's about 20 hours driving by myself. Thankfully, I had access to my CD's--which I hadn't had for a year. I sang until I was blue. And I was quite blue.
Steve putting me in some sort of arm-bar type hold--
Since arriving back in America, I spent a lot of time continuing to search for a car--and I only found 'the one' last month; Thursday, December 11. A silver 2001 Ford Taurus.
Some other picture highlights of my return to America:

The cereal aisle at VONS (a panoramic view, because a normal shot just wouldn't do it justice)-- Oh joy!!--
My favorite bargain/closeout store--
Hadn't had that in a very long time--
Probably my favorite store of all--
Delicious--

Korea has changed me. At this point, I can't really describe all the ways it has--but I know it has. Perhaps it's not even noticeable to the outside observer, but I know I've changed.

It's been very interesting to watch people's reactions to me after my return. I knew that very few people would understand what I'd just been through, and I assumed they wouldn't know how to respond to what I might go through--but that's also been a very isolating experience since returning. It's no one's 'fault'--it's just a result of the experience I've had.

Though I'm mostly over it now, I've spent much of my time thinking about returning to Korea. Not like I looked up flights back or anything like that. But truthfully, it's like "The Shawshank Redemption". I feel like the old guy, Brooks, who gets to leave the prison after spending so many years there. Even though he was now free--he simply could not get used to the freedom, and the difference between the real world and prison. Regardless of how he was treated in prison, and regardless of the fact that it was actually a prison; after he got out, he felt himself longing to return.

I feel the same way. I attribute that feeling to the desire for structure, and for the comfort of routine. All the new things I've had to do, though they're good things, have created a certain amount of 'stress'. Reverse culture shock, repatriation, returning to a previously held life, the holidays, visiting with friends you haven't communicated with in a year, moving into a new place, finding a car, and trying to prepare to return to work are all things that can be stressful. The icing on that stress cake is the ridiculous jet-lag, or mind haze that you experience when coming back after so long.

Here's my observation: to have been so changed by an experience such as I've just had and to come home to a place with people who remain so unchanged is very strange.

It's been quite an adjustment. And to go through it alone is very strange. I miss the simplicity of life in Korea--and I miss my experience there. I am, however, very happy to be back in America. I feel honored to have spent a year abroad.

Long Time Coming

I have been busy!

In the past 30 days I have begun pre-packing to make sure I have enough boxes with which to bring home all my junk. I have also begun to sell the things I know I'm not taking to America. I have planned my final trip to Peacetown, planned a comedy night, spent my last "real" vacation days on an island south of Korea, and have spent hours and hours in the music studio recording songs.

I have been busy.

As I type this, I have 14 days left in Korea. Nine of those are work days. That means a total of 14 shows left. I can't believe I've made it this far.

If you've been following this past year of blogs, you know of the many things I've been fortunate to see and learn. The first 6 months of my time in Korea seemed to last a lifetime--truly.

However, the last 6 months have gone by in the blink of an eye. I can't believe how fast the time has gone.

I traveled alone to Jeju Island, off the south coast of Korea, from October 10-14. You are about to view MANY pictures from that vacation. It was exactly what I needed and wanted. I basically stayed on a beach with white sand and the bluest water I've ever seen for 3 days. It was amazing. The pictures should tell the story.

On the walkway to the airplane, Gimpo Airport in Seoul--
A map of Jeju Island with the main places I visited typed out--
As soon as I got out of the airport, I took a bus to Seongsan Ilchulbong (I named it incorrectly on the map above), and this was my first real view of the mountain. Seongsan Ilchulbong means "Sunrise Peak"--as it's famous for its view of the sunset, as this mountain is at the easternmost part of Jeju Island. The hike to see the sunrise, and the view of it were highly recommended to me, so I stayed one night at a "minbak" (a local motel).

This picture was taken from my patio/sunroom. This room cost only 20,000Won, which was incredible, as it had a TV, a small fridge, and a gas stove in the sunroom. Plus, it had this view. Unbelievable.

After checking into the motel, I walked to the entrance of the main hike area that leads to the top of the mountain...which I would do starting at 5:30 a.m. the next morning.

You can see what this sign says about the landscape of the area--

I took a helicopter ride and took this photo--

Just kidding. I didn't take any helicopter ride. This was just a big picture of the area--

At the base of the mountain, by the big picture, are several rocks with the sunrise carved at different positions--

Under the sunrise carvings is a chart of the entire year and the corresponding sunrise times. Remember, "Seongsan Ilchulbong" means Sunrise Peak--that's what this place is known for. It's most popular on January 1, and you can imagine thousands of people travel to see the first sunrise of the new year. I saw the sunrise on October 11--6:34 a.m.--

After reaching the top of the mountain, I took this photo. Obviously pre-sunrise, you can see the lights of boats in the distance. Beautiful colors already--

This is a view of where I came from. That's looking westward behind me--

A panorama of the horizon--

People waiting and watching--

Almost time (what you see at the bottom is the eastern edge of the cone of the mountain itself, then the ocean)--

First shot of the sun coming up--

Still rising--

That's not Darth Maul, that's me--

Well worth getting up at 5:30 a.m. to see--

Panorama of what's directly in front of me, the "crown" of this mountain--

Panorama of the sunset--

The Northeast view--

Me--

Panorama of the sunset and the mountain--

Panorama of the view behind me--

This is my first view of Mt. Halla--the tallest mountain in South Korea--which is basically in the dead center of Jeju Island. I didn't see it the previous day because it was too hazy--

Hiking back down--

Panorama of the west view of Jeju Island--you can see Mt. Halla on the left side of the picture--

Interesting path--

The north side of the mountain--

Beautiful--

I couldn't believe this, but as I was hiking down the mountain after seeing the sunrise, I heard music coming out of various rocks in the grass. It wasn't the musical rocks that surprised me, Disneyland has those hidden everywhere. It was the song coming out of the rocks that blew my mind. The video is below. So strange, right?

The pan I used to cook eggs for breakfast after returning from the hike--I'm surprised I'm still alive-- This is a piece of a GIANT pork burger, that's an APPLE slice on there, as well as olives and pickles and a weird sauce. But it was actually pretty good...considering that my other options included raw fish and pickled cabbage.

At Hamdeok Beach, just east of Jeju-Si (where the airport is); those statues are everywhere on the island, it's their "thing"--

View of Mt. Halla from the beach (check out the black lava rocks and the white sand as well!)--

Panorama of Hamdeok Beach--

My feet in the clearest water ever--

Peace--

Look at that blue water!--

This is what happens when you're on vacation by yourself--

Panorama of the other side of Hamdeok Beach (where I parked for 3 straight days)--

Hamdeok Beach--

A panorama from a pier at Hamdeok Beach, Mt. Halla in the distance--

I found this horribly rusty exacto knife on the pier, then I cut myself--

These are those fishing boats--check out all the lights! So strange--

Purple shells--

Do you see the creature in there?--

These little creatures are EVERYWHERE; I mean everywhere. There are little crab things inside, and they just drag themselves around. It was so interesting to watch...and see their trail--

The beach--

Very small shell--

See the crab guy?--

See this little guy?--

This thing was nearly as big as my torso...I can't say for certain what it was. I'm guessing jellyfish--but it was solid...very, very strange--

SMALL but perfectly formed--

Various shells I gathered--

That's my pinky, and a still connected tiny shell--

When the tide would go away--these balls of sand would form ALL over the beach. I can't be sure of what they are, but I'm going to guess crab poop--

Okay--I truly have NO idea what this is. As you'll see, the shell was pretty large. I don't know how to describe to you what the animal inside could do. What you see directly below is the "protection" mode. The swirl-like thing you see is how the animal protects itself. For instance, when I picked it up, it would switch to this mode. But as it relaxed, that would swivel around and a strange, orange, tongue-like thing with antennas would come out. SO insane. I took SO many pictures of it--here are the best--

Swiveling around--

One antenna came up and poked the top of the water--

Anyone else think this shell looks like the saucer section of the USS Enterprise NC1701-D?--

I have no idea--

After hanging out on the beach, I walked a bit around the area. This is first time since coming to Korea that I saw a Chicago style pizza place--

How many chilis do you think are there?--

A random beautiful temple entrance I passed--

I traveled one afternoon to Manjang Cave (a UNESCO World Heritage Site). The bus drops you off 2km from the actual attraction, so I walked 2 km down a road--

As I walked down the road, I saw fields of this stuff--I'm not sure what it was--but I think it was cabbage--

FINALLY, I arrived at the cave--

You can read about what this place is about--

That is a lava column--lava had flowed from an upper level and came down and then cooled-- Water was constantly dripping all over the place inside this lava tube--

I was in the tube/cave for about an hour, and when I came out--the sun was setting, and it was beautiful--

The cave closes at 6:00 p.m., and so there were no longer any cabs out front. So I had to walk the 2 km back out to the main road. By the time I got back to the main road, it was pitch black out. I knew I could catch a bus--but I didn't know exactly where to get it, nor when it would come. So I started walking back to Hamdeok Beach (at least 6 km away). I knew exactly where I was and wasn't worried at all...but I still didn't want to walk ALL the way back. I walked for over an hour before I reached my "end" point. I wasn't going to walk anymore. Again, I knew exactly where I was, I just didn't know exactly where to get the bus. But I stopped at a bus stop, and just sat down to wait for a bus. It came within 10 minutes or so, and it took me back. Thank goodness.

I got off the bus and decided to take some nighttime pictures. For my three days at Hamdeok Beach, I stayed at a dinky little motel, not even as nice as the one I'd stayed at while in Seongsan. But not far from my dinky motel was this very large and beautiful resort. It would have been lovely to have stayed there...but I'm guessing it would have been considerably more expensive than 30,000Won per night. Anyway, here it is by moonlight, palm trees and all (taken with flash)--

Taken without flash--

Taken from farther away, obviously--

Across the street from my motel was what I can only describe as a traveling amusement park...very small and a little scary actually...I didn't go on any rides or eat any food; here you see the "Viking" ride in action--

On my last day in Jeju, I traveled to the main city, Jeju-Si. I walked through Dongmun Market Place. Though not terribly different from any other market I'd ever been through, it had more Jeju-specific items.

Lettuce, sweet potatoes...and some GIANT green/white "thing"...what is that? An onion? I have no idea--

Believe me, I've seen a lot of weird fish displays...but this is simply wrong--

Fruit. Jeju is famous for tangerines/oranges--

Near the market was a small palace. I didn't go inside, but took some photos from outside--

I left the market place and palace area and headed to the airport to fly back to Seoul. My 5 day vacation was over. Here you can see Mt. Halla in the distance and the Jeju airport sign (like the Gimpo sign earlier)--

I did actually take this picture from the plane--that's Mt. Halla--

So that was my last vacation while in Korea.